Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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