I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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