found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
