Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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