I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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