I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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