I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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