Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All I want is dick and wine.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
