I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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