He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
