do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
