On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
