I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
