Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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