i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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