I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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