So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
