I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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