Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
