Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
