I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
