so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
