There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
