Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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