you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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