dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
