Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
