how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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