I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
