remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
