How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
