exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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