Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
