let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
