Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
