Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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