another moral hangover. fuck.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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