Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My liver just broke up with me...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Randomize
