dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
