She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize