Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
