Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize