Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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