Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
