dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize