piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Your penis caused this!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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