According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
