you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Crop dusting thru forever 21
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
