It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize