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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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