Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
