omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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