today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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