absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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