so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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