i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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