were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
