I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
