This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
